Life is a mix of ups and downs. The landscape will be boring if it were plain all over. That is why God created both the mountains and the deep valleys. Similarly there are high points as well as low points in our life which makes life interesting. Life needs to have a good mix of these contrasts to make the picture of life come alive. I was just thinking of this one year that went by which was a kind of a valley experience for me, ofcourse there were a few mountain top experiences as well that God did give me.The year began with a sad note of my cousin JP meeting with an accident on the 3rd of January 2012. The next one month was spent in hoping and praying he would recover. He did show progress and regained consciuosness until Feb 7th when his systems began to fail and he went to be with the Lord leaving behind his dear wife Zennet & 2 children Kemuel & Kezia. We could not question God on his decision to take him away. This was followed by the death of Danny my good friend and Anne a dear niece and there was no way we could answer the questions. Only eternity will reveal the answers to these baffling questions of Life and Death.
All through the year one thing I never failed to do was applying for jobs online and otherwise. In most of the cases the answer was predictable. I did go for a few interviews, yet nothing came out positively. These were days I had become familiar with the word "No". Though not so verbally spoken out, this is what they tried to say in every mail notification telling me I haven't been selected for the job I had applied for at that point of time. These were also times when people known for gossip faithfully slandered me to aggravate an already wounded spirit. There were moments spent sitting in the Al Majaz corniche in the early mornings committing all of these to the hands of God and asking God for the right door to open for me. There were also moments where I felt my faith was hitting the rocks. Sometimes these dissappointments made me succumb to my human frailties that were questioning "Where is God?". But with every dissappointment came a quiet assurance which said that the best was yet to come.
The months of February & March saw me going through an unexplainable pain in my ankles. These were days when I was forced to be in bed with my feet elevated and I was unable to walk. These were testing times where I thought the lights were going out on me. But by the end of March I was able to stand to my feet again with my strength regained. I was tested in many ways but I understood that it was a process the Lord was taking me through in order to refine me, break me and remould me so that I can begin to look at things with a new perspective.
I was coming out of these losses when I saw a ray of hope coming in the form of being shortlisted for a position with the same organisation I had worked for 18 years. I was reminded of how I spent my entire youth for this organisation sacrificing precious family time and my physical strength travelling for days on end. There were times I could not be with family and friends on important occassions because I was travelling. There were times when my wife would cry on the other end of the phone and I was stranded somewhere faraway. I did hope that somewhere someone will consider all these years of pain and pick me up for the new job in a new country. Like a shot from the blue comes an email which said it was the end of the road for the process and no reason was given. I was devastated as I was building my dreams and counting on this organization for which I had spent the best years of my life. I didn't want to discount foulplay in the high places. I just asked the Lord to bless them that made it impossible for me.
But God was good as he had other plans which were far better and incomparable (Jer 29:11). The Lord saw it fit to open a door for me for a new job after 15 months. With no man as help, it was the Lord who made a way for me to join a medical university a month ago. It is great to be part of this growing institution and it feels good to be learning new things from the medical field as well as exploring a whole new world of possibilities. Along with this came my driving license after 3 failed attempts which was another triumph. All glory be to God!!!
Altogether, this entire experience was very humbling and an experience of drawing near to God. It made me restart life with a new vision and a new focus. My best moments were spent in "aloneness" with God and His word. God became central to me and His word started to engage with me each day. I began to look inside of me in the light of all that the Lord was speaking to me in order for me to mend my ways and get my spiritual life completely overhauled.
Now I look back and all I can say is..."Bless the Lord Oh my soul, and all that is within me bless His Holy name,
Bless the Lord Oh my soul, forget not all His benefits."
God bless you!!
