The Enemy Within...

Feels so nice to get back to writing my blog. As I look over my shoulder, I see that it has been a hectic year and yet a year filled with moments of quiet reflections. Just wishing all of them were penned down, but here's my latest reflection and if it happens to be yours too then I'm sure reading this will reinforce your resolve to move on.


Of late, I have been pondering over the way life has taken turns, some for good and some otherwise. It has helped me review my life and figure out areas where I have gone wrong. Having identified mistakes and wrong patterns in my life, my consequent move should have been to diverge from such ways into ways that are good and productive. I made some great decisions to get certain things going and get some things out of the way, but there was not much change. Most of the times they have stayed only in the vaults of my thoughts but never got translated into actions. But with much prayer and constant self reminding I have managed to break away from quite a few unproductive ways to re-chart my life. That has given me a lot of joy which has energized me to press on. Decision to do something does not mean that the thing is done. It takes time and effort to act on intentions and accomplish  something. How often we fool ourselves to think that we can impress God by our intentions and well meaning prayers! While it may be easy to put on an impressive external, the Omniscient God actually sees deeply through our facade and knows us just as we are.

As part of my life review, I was also identifying the causes for some of the worst failures in my life. My 'old man' constantly tried to put others and circumstances to blame. But my new resolve gained through much prayer and submission to God helped me to realize that I, ...was the cause for a number of those failures and bad patterns. While it is so easy to look at the faults of others, it takes courage to face oneself and say 'I'm wrong'. So I concluded that most of the times the enemy was not without, but within. How could I have become so blind to myself and my own errors. The cause for all this was "self", which so often prevents you from facing the reality of your own failures, but is so quick to fix the blame on things other than you. While the concept of loving oneself is good, it should actually help us to evaluate ourself and know ourself properly which is critical to move forward.

So after all the soul searching, I knew it was time to move on from those self defeating ways and not get into the deception of "mere intentions", but to move forward to the plane of action where there is meaning, challenge and joy of accomplishments. The apostle James says it beautifully that faith without works is dead. The other deception here is the deception of self righteousness, where you feel great about having confessed your misgivings and sins. Confession helps you find forgiveness and healing, but actions are essential to cross that bridge of sin and hurt. Be careful not to stop with your intentions!!!

Paul says I have crucified myself with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. When we come to that maturity then we can beat the worst enemy - " Our self" and be successful by surrendering everything to Christ and allow him to be the driver who leads and guides us into paths of hope, victory and joy even when things do not look all that great!

When we constantly live under the realization that Christ is the center and source of our living, then it gives us the impetus to move forward and do something and of course not forgetting, beat the enemy within. I want to leave you with a song that has this reflection of identifying your failures and the enemy within, not to get stuck in the miry failures of the past, but move on with God's help. As we pass through this season of advent towards the dying moments of 2014 let's get this resolve to translate good intentions to actions and thus move forward! God bless you!!!

Look at the birds...

While music is my passion, the hobby that comes incidental to it is nature, especially bird watching. Even though I do not have the necessary gear of an Ornithologist, in my own way I appreciate the presence of birds and their chirping which is so refreshing each morning. As I walk into my work place, I get welcomed by the site of freshly watered lawns, the greenery all around the campus, beautiful flowers near the sidewalks and the sound of birds in the trees. These simple things eases me of all my anxieties and helps me look ahead at each brand new day with hope.

One of the things that amazed me when I moved here to the UAE was the sight of plenty of sparrows. Back home in India while the sparrows are a thing of the past, here in UAE we are glad to have them around. The buildings have sparrow friendly spaces for them to survive and multiply. Glad that these sparrows enjoy a safe haven here in a desert while India has turned it's back on these lovely little birds that have been so close to my heart.

Recently, I got to spot the first seagull for the winter while taking a walk down the Sharjah corniche. It was nice to know that summer was finally gone and we can look forward to the winter. Time has lapsed since then and rains in the UAE have ushered in the winter. The mornings and evenings are cool and pleasant, inviting me to take a walk along my favourite places - the corniche and the beach. We also get to see a lot of pigeons and turtle doves that drop in on the window sills and balcony ledges in the apartments. How can we forget the crows, the most common one back in India. We understand that crows were brought here to the Sharjah corniche area as the authorities felt the need for these scavenger birds. Most of the times I have observed that they had a piece of bread held between their beaks. 

It's hard to adequately describe the beauty of a winter morning here. I'm just enjoying it every day and every time it eventually turns out to be quiet moments of relishing God's creation leading onto a quiet conversation with God. I could feel God urging me to take a look at these birds to remind me of his words in Mathew 6:26, "Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" When we get to know God in a personal and intimate way, we can be encouraged to know that the God who feeds the birds is the God who cares for us, provides for us and sustains us. Psalms 48:14 says, " For this God is our God forever and ever; He will be our guide even to the end."

Cheers!!!

SCUD

Those who have closely followed the news during the early 90's will know what SCUD means. During the Gulf War, SCUD was the Russian missile used by Iraq against the allied forces. In return the US and it's allies used the PATRIOT missiles to counter the SCUD attacks. Very similarly, there is a war in the heavenlies that the Bible talks about. Jesus very beautifully used the Scriptures to counter the attacks of Satan when he was tempted in the wilderness for forty days. Scriptures were like his PATRIOT missiles to dispel the attacks of the enemy.

Interestingly during the time of Gulf War my mentor Rev.Samson Lazarus used to form an acronym using SCUD. It stood for Satanic Cunning Undermining Devices. The Bible says in John 10:10, "The devil comes to kill, steal and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." It talks about the mission statement of both Satan and Jesus.

The mission of Satan is to kill, steal and destroy. Well, what does he kill, steal and destroy? He is too crafty and tricky. While his ultimate objective is to destroy us he does it very subtly. He kills our desire for God and His truth. He then steals away our time by keeping us busy with a plenty of things which appear very important to satisfy our 'self'. He also misguides people to be so self possessed to the extent of making them believe that they themselves are gods and hence doing away with the need for a God. He also steals every opportunity to turn to God by way of cleverly crafted distraction tactics. Then he destroys our peace, our standing and ultimately our spirits, making us completely ineffective, useless and redundant. Given a chance he can beautifully entice us into a life of false securities, pretensions and deceptions which look appealing to our flesh and ego. The more we are driven by our 'self' the more we unknowingly succumb to the satanic cunning undermining devices.

On the contrary the mission of Jesus was to give us life, life to the full or life in abundance - life in every dead situation, quickening our spirits to commune with His Spirit and engage in a constant life giving, dynamic and uplifting fellowship and communion with Him that will provide us the protection and provision to live a life of wellness in Him as desired by God. This life is possible by doing in return what Jesus did for us. He gave His life for us, and when we give to Him our life He is able to make something beautiful out of the most messed up life.

If you are looking for meaning in life, truth, love, wellness, Jesus invites you into a world of possibilities. In Matthew 11:28 Jesus says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." In John 6:37 Jesus assures us acceptance," ...and whoever comes to me, I will never drive away." 

Past, Present and Future

Driving to and from office are moments I enjoy as I have a good time reflecting and listening to what God is talking to me. I mull over the scriptures that I read in the morning or a sudden flash of thought that God puts in my mind to ponder, or I say a prayer for someone in need or words of a song triggers a thought etc., and so a lot happens in terms of reflections in that short and sweet twenty minute drive.

This morning I was reminded of the scripture which says that God does not recall our past sins that are forgiven. Isaiah 43:25 (Amplified Version) says, "I, even I, am He Who blots out and cancels your transgressions, for My own sake, and I will not remember your sins". It was such a comforting thought that made me feel so set free. Everyone has a bad side of the past and the enemy's strategy is to keep recalling that and keep us stuck and rooted in the past that we can never move forward. He would also effectively use his messengers - unforgiving and graceless people who would join with him in the condemnation band wagon. If we are not sensitive to his schemes we can easily give in to his thoughts and feel condemned and worthless and in turn start to condemn others. Satan uses people in fulfilling his objective of bringing down those who desire to do God's will. The truth of the matter is that God remembers our sins no more and man has no business to talk about the past. The more we hear the voice of God the less we hear the voice of satan and his messengers.

Perhaps that is why Paul writing to the Philippians mentions this as a success strategy for life. He is a person who had a terrible past. He was a hardcore Jew from the strictest sect of Judaism and went about persecuting the Church, dragging people out of their homes and murdering them. He stood approving the stoning of Stephen, the first martyr. His blind faith in Judaism drove him to go to such extents only to be stopped in his tracks by the Lord Jesus himself after which it was no turning back. Paul says "...but one thing I do [it is my one aspiration]: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,..."Phil 3:13.

Do not ruin a beautiful present by thinking about the past. Each day and the here and now is a gift from God which is why it is called "present". We can ruin it by recalling what God has chosen to forgive and forget. The more we think about the past the less we will be able to work towards the future. Getting stuck in our past glories and failures will ruin our present and keep us from achieving what God has kept for our future. Do not give the devil and his messengers room by allowing them to recall the past. Do not be disturbed when the devil and his messengers try to dig up your past. They try to do this cause they know their time is running out and their future is doomed.

Scripture says that God does not keep a record of our sins. Instead He is more concerned about our future. God says in Jer 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." The more we get to know Him the more He reveals it to us. In the past He revealed it to Noah, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. He invites us to explore the future with Him in faith just like Abraham did.

If the devil reminds you of your past, just remind him about his future!!! Want to leave you with this all time favourite of mine from the Gaithers!!

Lasting Relationship?

Just happened to have a chat about music with a friend who has a fancy for old Tamil movie songs. We had a great discussion about the styles, content, genres, values conveyed and a whole lot of comparison of today's music with that of yesterday's. In the process of the conversation we stumbled upon a famous Tamil song that talks about human relationships and the lines are as follows:


"Veedu varai uravu
Veedhi varai manaivi
Kaadu varai pillai
Kadaisi varai yaaro?"

The song talks about death and the transience of human relationships. The meaning of the above lines are as follows:

When a man dies....
"Veedu varai uravu = The relatives mourn his death only as long as they are in his house 
Veedhi varai manaivi = The wife follows the corpse till the street corner (in Tamil culture women do not go to the grave yard)
Kaadu varai pillai = The son comes till the grave yard (to perform the last rites)
Kadaisi varai yaaro?" = But who will remain till the end?

Even though I have heard these lines many times, it struck a new chord today. Today I was able to see the song in a different light altogether - I was drawn to thinking in terms of eternity. It talks about the reality of death with no inkling of what lies ahead and about how fleeting life is. It also makes us ponder  about the longevity of all relationships we have. Finally the song ends with a question that portrays hopelessness.

In response to this question in this song, I was reminded of the parting words of Jesus to his disciples. He said, "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” 

Oh what a hope!!! His presence is always with his children, to comfort, guide, help and deliver. His eternal presence with us enables us to face life boldly. It helps us to stand up to any challenge. The Psalmist David stood before the giant and was not shaken by the appearance or the taunting of his adversary. He knew His God and he was able to say in Ps 16:8 - "I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken." In Joshua 1:5 God says, " I will never leave you, nor forsake you." His love is a lasting and enduring love which remains true always!! In Jeremiah 31:3 The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness."

What a hope to be the child of the living God who rose again from the dead. Death was conquered in sweet victory and that is the reason Jesus' words are so life-giving. Death is such an inescapable part of our life, yet for a child of God, death is the threshold of a life of lasting love, union with God, an endless hope and not a hopeless end as the song says. There is no fear and hopelessness in death for a Christian. That is what makes Christ so special to me.

As I close I am also reminded of the song by PETRA which is called "Grave Robber" which talks about life beyond the grave! 

Headcheck?

One of the strategies of winning in Indian politics is "the blame game" - accusing the other party. The opposition party will accuse the ruling party of all the lapses and create barriers in every action plan while the ruling party will accuse the opposition of their lapses in the past. Recently while the current Indian govt was drawing flak from all sides and accused of serious lapses and inconsistencies in it's governance, it came like a shot from the blue for the opposition when media came up with a finding that showed one of the key leaders of it's religious faction in a web of corrupt practices - of doing the very things that he accused the ruling party of doing. This was like "pot calling the kettle 'black' "!

Unfortunately, I found myself in a similar situation some days ago and it was quite disheartening to see myself in this quandary. Well I know this has been dealt with and hence I don't hesitate to be transparent and make myself vulnerable here in this reflection. I reckon that I'm a sinner saved by grace and still grapple with issues of my "fallenness" and we all have to experience this as long as we live here in a fallen world. It was one of those dull days when I was not at my best on the interpersonal paradigm, to be honest I'd actually been a bit reckless, just going through the motions and not in complete control. In a terribly vulnerable moment I did something without thinking to end up hurting someone dear. It took a heavy toll on me and pushed me into a shell of remorse and self  reflection. The damage has been done and it's indelibly etched in the minds and no amount of apology will actually undo my fault. The wounds heal but many times the scars remain. But it takes a tremendous amount of grace to get over this especially when you know these dear ones are truly gracious people. It dawned on me that often I found it so easy to point a finger at the flaw in another person while conveniently overlooking my own flaws which were much more serious.

Well, don't we all have our blind spots which only others can see quite clearly? I'm reminded of my driving lessons and learning to drive in the UAE is quite an experience.  One of the most important things I had to learn was what they call here, "head check"! This is nothing but turning your head and looking over your shoulder to check the blind spots which are not captured by the rear view mirror of the car. It is only after  a head check is done can the driver make a move to turn. How often it is easy to ignore our blind spots and end up crashing in our human relationships. This is what I have been reflecting ever since this fiasco happened to me. I'm actually fighting within to search and weed out all such traits.

Jesus said it beautifully to the pharisees who were constantly doing it -finding fault with others especially with Jesus and his disciples. The Message bible portrays it beautifully. “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor."  Mt 7:3-5. Quite harsh, ain't it? How important it is to examine our own lives before we can point a finger at someone else. How much are we aware of our own failures and shortcomings? How much do we repent of those? How much are we actually mindful of introspecting into our own lives? When we do it on a regular basis, we begin to understand God 's amazing grace and human relationships become more precious and valuable to us. The more we realise that we find ourselves wanting in the scales of God, the more we will want this grace.

The Psalmist constantly took time out for introspection as we read it in many of the Psalms. He keeps looking into His own life and sees the need for someone higher than him to save him.

Lead me to the rock that is higher than I - Ps 61:2.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Ps 139:23-24.

The Greek word for grace is "charis" from where the words "charisma" and "charismatic" come from. To me, the ones who have truly experienced the forgiving grace of God in their lives and who freely forgive others are the truly charismatic people in a literal sense. As we go through this lent season, remembering the redemptive work of God, having found unconditional love, forgiveness and acceptance from God, can we take a moment to "head check" and evaluate our own lives instead of pointing a finger at somebody else and realize His marvelous forgiving grace. Can we come to God in humility and ask for more of His grace to be gracious? He promises more grace to the humble.

God bless!!!

Homesick ?

Sometime ago, my wife and I embarked on an immigration plan as we began to feel sick of the system in our home country and planned to migrate to New Zealand but later shelved the idea as we did not feel comfortable with it either. Ten years down the line, in 2011 we moved to the UAE.

Walking through the streets of Ajman, UAE near my workplace as part of my post-lunch walk, I get to see spacious villas of the locals. I think of my own independent parental house back in India and I miss life there so much. I always loved the space around our house and I think of the times I used to play cricket with my nephews in our compound. I also loved to walk by the flowerbeds where my Mom grew a variety of flowers and by all the row of flower pots my sister-in-law maintained. I loved it when Pepper, our dog had so much fun running around the house trying to escape from my mother's plot to keep him chained. It makes so much of a difference to have your own house and space and live there. They say, "East or West, Home is best"!!

Having come here, it is a different scenario. We get to see huge towering apartments housing a mass that is equivalent to a locality in India -  an entire locality into one tall vertical structure. For example, the building we live in has fifteen floors of residences besides three floors of parking, with eighteen flats on each floor. This is a structure that houses two hundred and seventy apartments totally. These are the kind of structures where most middle income expatriate communities live here in the UAE.

In contrast, most locals live in palatial independent villas with  huge compounds. Some have beautiful gardens with exquisite plants, flowers and trees. Some houses have pet animals and birds, too. Most of these houses have many bedrooms to house a large family. It is something that is available mostly for the locals and a few privileged expats who either get to have a leasehold for some years or avail it as part of their corporate benefit.

Sometimes I wish I'd get to own a mansion like one of them someday. But knowing it is a far cry in this place for someone like me, I get that gentle reminder from God that our citizenship is not here, but it's beyond the here and now. We do not have a lasting city this side of heaven. We await a city that will come down from heaven. We are to wait for the imminent second coming of the Lord when we will be raptured into His eternal presence. For here we do not have an enduring city, but we are looking for the city that is to come - Hebrews: 13:14.

I am reminded of the song by Jim Reeves that I loved singing - "This world is not my home, I'm just  passing through...".

Another song that comes to my mind is the song "I've Got A Mansion Just Over The Hilltop" which still is a favourite to me.

Here in the UAE, we can only be residents, never it's citizens. Our citizenship is in heaven, our home is beyond the blue and our mansions are in glory! Never get attached to things of this earth!!